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9月21日 To shake things up a little!! Just watched the CBS new TV season introduction on youtube.. NCIS, How I met your mother, CSI, Mentalist, The big bang...LIFE issss GOOOOOOOD!!!:) That's my boys!! Live it up~~ I got a feeling, this semester is going to be a good one!! Because I can feel the passion of living!! 9月20日 萧剑风流 最近和梁劲、bob,去了乐乐和kiki的家里吃饭，吃完了大家东聊西侃，两个女孩子很早睡了，bob回了家，我和梁劲聊到天亮，末了，他很感叹在大一的生活，说这次回国感觉到"热闹都是他们的，我什么也没有"。他说很佩服倚天屠龙记末了谢逊可以放下和陈昆的恩怨情仇，对这种快意人生十分羡慕。其实我们都知道正是因为在现实生活中不会有人像金庸、古龙笔下的侠骨风流、也只有大一懵懂的年少轻狂才能潇洒风流、快意恩仇。站在人生的转折点上，我们不禁回望曾经的意气风发、指点江山、激扬文字、雄姿英发。我们一起遥想当年的名将风流如周瑜、诸葛亮，二十多岁便为了国家指挥千军万马、奇谋妙策、运筹帷幄，屈敌于千里之外。我突然觉得一股久违的热血和亲切感涌上心头，虽然只是很短的一刹那，也让我感动。 自古美女爱英雄，英雄多薄命。所以中国人大都不愿当出头鸟，即便满腔热血，也只能寄情在琴棋书画诗里面。梁劲说现在的中国人有独立思考能力、又有血性的太少了，感叹今不如昔。我也借着酒劲重温了一把天不怕地不怕的毛头小子的美梦。这种年少的傲气、不可一世等到失去了才会怀念吧?就好像我对中文诗词的鉴赏能力，对中国人美丽的魅力，那种久违的温柔，那种用中文对话、读诗、唱歌、写字给我的亲切和感动，要谢谢这帮朋友们让我体会的到。 人生真的会是一条波浪线，起起伏伏，就好像梅姐常常说“抱紧眼前人“。 零九年初秋 9月13日 No where to hideHi guys, I don't know if you have the same feeling as I do...knowing that something is happening, something is inevitably going to change, possibly forever and you just want to hide from the pain of even thinking about it...human nature I suppose, we are horrified by things of uncertain nature and we want to prevent us from being hurt of the unknown. For instance, when you first date a girl, you are afraid, for the uncertainty of its fait...you have been hurt before and you don't want to rush into something, you feel like you are not ready to be intimate with another girl/boy...you are scared that it's going to jepodise yourself, distract you from work/study, or you will simply waste your money and emotions to the wrong girl/guy... When you try to find your first job after you graduate from university, you are scared of living in the real world, dealing with people who is way too sophisticated for you to handle on equal playground, you are scared of not choosing a good career path, not good mentor, or compromising your personal value to gain enough money and financial stability for your future... On top of that, knowing all these is inevitably going to happen, soon, and afraid you are not fully prepared both physically and mentally makes me want to hide in my little room until I can sleep it over, until I feel I am comfortable enough to deal with the uncertainty...knowing time is slipping way, along with my dreams, my ambitions, my chances, my faith, my confidence, my potential... However, in the same time, knowing fully well that my life is just beginning and I will have all the time to adjust, adapt, and transform into the man I am supposed to become no matter what unfavorable condition I find myself in...or I will be eliminated by the rules of competition...knowing that eventually I will become strong enough to handle all the emotions and troubles that life throw at me and take care of myself and my family... It is a weird feeling going back to school after a eight months co-op. Working in the corporate world let me realize what is waiting for me after school, and being at school for the final semester is the only chance for innocence, for preparation, for craziness and self-pity..because 4 months from now I will have to at lease pretent to be strong enough walking outside of my door and deal with all the business... I have known many married people trying to run their business while still have to play a mother/father, husband/wife, daughter/son, and I think how lucky I am to start it without all the trouble and twice the resource: energy, intelligence, education, connection, and time...there is simply no reason for me not to be successful even if it means I have to cut my sleep time in half or more and live on caffeine....I have talked the talk now it is time to walk the walk...I have to leave the protection from my parents and work my own way up in this world and make my contribution rather than living off other's wealth...nobody ever said it is going to be easy but I will try... I am taking Strategy course this semester, it's a required course at UVic of course. Even after the first class it makes me realize that if I ever want to win in life, I would have to be willing to put priority on my time not by my personal preference but rather by the optimal destribution of resource and productivity, by facing my personality fraud in the face and use self-discipline to modify my character, break it, collect the useful and dump the waste...it means to be cruel to even myself..."Self-distruction" some may say... For the longest time, my goal is just to get through the day...especially before the eight months co-op...when I was at school...I had no ambition but to do my time in this "Prison" hoping after the two years I will be released and return to where I truly belong - my country, my people, and most importantly my family...for those who know me in Canada, Bob, Jasime, Siena, Lela, etc, I am never pathetic. In fact I am always the "Nutcase" who is over-energetic and always lives in the moment...someone who has great love for life and a promising future on either continent...but it's just what I want to be in front of my true friends...someone once said to me "Happiness and Pain goes hand in hand, they seek the perfect balance in a person, if you break the balance, you will be sick and you will need to see a doctor"...but like another wise man once said "No pain, no gain"..In fact, the great leaders of mankind often have miserable childhood or suffered great trauma during adolescence...maybe one day (given I don't become a psychopath) it will serve as a character builder in my life Taking the leap, takes great deal of courage and a little impulse...whether it is to kiss the girl after a first date, take a job with promising future, begin to exercise regularly or to pick up the phone and talk to the ones you once hurt but still deeply love... Robert Forest said "Two roads diverged into the wood and I - I took the one less traveled by - and that, makes all the difference" With love Sheng 8月31日 Life is like a box of chocolate Hi guys, Here I am sitting in my basement suite with a few luggage and bags packed up. My laptop is still playing Forrest Gump and it makes me feel things, about life and how it could be so tragic and romantic, sad and sweet, surprising and rewarding, mysterious and confusing at times...when I thought about a title for this entry I find just the perfect one - not only because it sound wise but also because I started my working life as a Chocolate Shop Sales Associate and I know Chocolate are just like that. so tragic and romantic, sad and sweet, surprising and rewarding, mysterious and confusing at times. Sometimes I wonder, if we are all living under a massive plan called fait or destiney or are we just floating around like on a breeze...but there is got to be something that's consistant, something that doesn't change at all, no matter how old we are, no matter where our fait took us...life is a blink of the eyes...some chose to be busy living it while some chose to be busy missing it...I liked the name of a popular GMAT/GRE preparation website called "Dream Chasers"..very poetic and romantic...life could be a lot simpler when you are chasing your dream and just let time pass you by... I talked to my mother and she promised me not to look at my blog any more and I believed her so she is not supposed to read the following but if she does for some reason, I want her to know I am not mad about that. I want to tell her that I love her even if she did something horrible to me I still do love her no matter what and she will always be my mother and I will always love her. I remember accusing her for being too goal-oriented that she neglected my feeling as a boy, a son, a young man who is far far away from home...but I know that all she ever did is trying to help me grow a better man, someone she is proud of...amd I am damn certain she is proud of me no matter what, even if she doesn't say it out aloud, I know... I will never forget any word she ever taught me since I am a little kid. All the fun time and the lessons she taught me...how we could hang out like friends and talk about just about everthing..I miss that time...I know she does too...She is right when she said she is getting older and I have to become a much stronger man soon...maybe that's why she won't tolerate any mis-behavior that she sees inappropriate... I still need some more time to clear my head and heal the pain but I had decided to forgive her a long time ago...what she made me today makes me very proud about myself...only that now I can see it clear that I was born for a life in the wild world, become a true global citizen and make my mark in the ever-changing world...I was forced to step out of my comfort zoon by my parents because they made it damn sure that I don't have any source of help whatsoever...even from family...that I have to look for new support group and develop the fading survivor instinct and grow ambition to suit this crazy world where the weak got eliminated and forgotten and only the strong stand out from the ash and prosper... I learned to protect myself and be more cautious about people and things. I learned to weigh the pros and cons first base on reality not fantasy...I learned to depend on my friends to unload negative feelings and do so in return...now my parents might have been rough on me but it definitely deliver result and I guess that's the biggest lesson they want to teach me...that it's go big or go home, except I didn't really have a home to go back...lots of teenagers do stupid things, things that hurt them physically and emotionally either to gain attention or to revenge on their parents for abandoning them while they are young. I had my share of things I did that I am not proud of...But life will go on as usual no matter what you feel...so I learned to dust it up and move on with a big smile on my face..not just a fake smile, I smile because I am stronger each day and I know many years from now I will look back and say "I beat that too". You know sometimes people say that after they travelled around the world, the best place they want to be is still home? I think it is time for me to build my home, my family somewhere else with someone else...I know it is probably ten times more frustrating than dealing with my existing family but I am eager to see what I can do without them... I don't know if I have told you so already but I always wanted my parents to be able to see around the world, travel and enjoy their life for once in their life, because they are good people and they deserve to treat themselves better, and maybe when they see what I do they will understand the stress of coping with culture differences and trying to make a career out of it and have fun at the same time...So I guess I am still mom's little boy inside...then again, who is not? Now I deliberately isolate myself from my family because I know if I am too close I will get lazy and slow and I will lose this hunger to want more and work harder...I am sure that they would understand.... Like I said, I want to meet women around the world, kick ass at what I do and jump outside a plane...something I want to do before I settle down...I will live a life without fear. I will live each day as if it has its own purpose. With love Sheng 8月23日 Wait a minute...Ho..ho..hold on...What the Fuck????!! You are married??!! Hey guys, My internship is gonna be over next Friday and I am flying back to Victoria on Aug 31....Exciting!! Especially when I learned that Bob is back in town!! Oh MAN, are we going to rock Vic bro style or what?? I just have so many things to share which him...wait, this didn't come out right, I sounded sooo f*cking gay... When I was busy learning how to flirt with women and get a jump start in my career. Someone else is secretly planning a wedding...the shocking part is not that I have known this girl for like forever, I knew she was dating this guy who (if you must know) went to Harvard for Biology PHD and is about twe years her senior back in high school..but that she had always stroke me as that kind of gal who will not settle at such an early age..23... And as I browsed through her wedding pictures she posted on Facebook just two hours ago something just doesn't feel right...the big wedding ceremony, the Limo, etc, everything just feels so "Grown up" yet she and her beloved husband still got their "Baby look" and so innocent as if they don't have any clue how tough life could become.....They are both from super rich family (Yeah, seriously, like super super rich), and possibly never heard a "No" in their lives...not that I am worried or something...it just feels funny to see them getting married when my own cousins who got married at their late 20s having a hardtime raising their kids or dealing with heartbreaks.... I know that I will be monogamous eventually but getting married this young just doesn't seems to be right....but hey who am I to judge or worry this newly wed happy couple when my life is one inch away from total fucked-up??>? I know that once you find the one you just know that other things are not important, but for now, just let me say...Before I settle down, I want to meet women all around the world, kick ass at what I do, and jump out of a plane...yeah, that's right, once I am back in Vic, sky diving is in session!!!!!!Woha!! Dear friends, are you guys in the marrying mood? I must have spaced out a lot if you do...what by the name of god is happening to this world?? With love Sheng 8月13日 相信 我已经四个礼拜没有给家里打电话了。原因很简单，我并没有什么值得骄傲的事情值得和他们分享。在玩感情游戏的时候，其实我自己都觉得看不起自己。直到有天，我遇到一个特别的女孩，她让我重新体会到什么是真正恋爱的感觉。她美丽、大方、真诚，她弹钢琴、练跆拳道、打电玩、说一点儿中文，她喜欢厅王力宏的歌，她不是一般的"Easy Laid"，因为她让我回忆起曾经纯真的我自己。她让我相信，相爱可以没有Game Plan，不用费尽心机去猜测、揣摩、不必害怕真正的付出，也不必总是想着如何全身而退。她让我觉得这个世界没有那么可怕，她让我不只想假装一个好男人而是真正做一个更好的男人。最近常常想毕业了之后怎么办？其实不必这么深刻，只要随心去做自己爱做的事，就会幸福吧。什么艰难，什么挫折，都不过是成功路上一段小小的插曲。也许我不适合从商，由或者将来某天我会发现商科的教育也有它的用武之地。年轻就是要做自己想做的事，就算别人都说不可能成功也要试一试。 找工作也是，只有自己真心喜欢的才有可能做得出类拔萃，才能乐此不疲。觉得自己不对就去改，觉得应该坚持的就不要放弃。最近发觉，这个世界真的好大，要学的东西，要爱的东西真的好多。其实只要愿意去寻找，美丽就在身边。谁说"Nice Guys Finish Last"?我试过了恋爱游戏，它给我的满足远远比不上一份真挚的友情或者亲密的关怀。不过，我不后悔，试过才知道什么是自己想要的，才知道什么是值得自己追求的。从现在开始，认真恋爱，不玩游戏。 所以今天的主题就是“相信”。人生就是这样，你会错过很多东西，也会得到很多东西。不要因为别人都在做什么就放弃了自己的信仰，也不要因为错过了的事情而被叹不已，一切都会继续，都会变好起来，只要你相信。 7月27日 the game Hi everybody, How is it going? Haven't talked to you guys in ages. Well, I have been...a little busy doing silly non-sense stuff which I am too ashamed to talk in details. Basically I have been exploring what a typical stupid sexually charged boy would do...drinking, hitting on girls and getting hangovers...well, nothing I feel proud of but something I have got to do. I have been practicing how to pick up girls at bars, clubs, even bus stops etc. But as I get more and more skilled on getting girl's phone number, dates even I come to realize that all of these "Game" is just a means to an end---get myself more comfortable around women and build my confidence when I meet the girl I know I love so that I won't chicken out and don't have the gut to ask her out on a date or kiss her how tease her...and these games made me realise that I am too smart to get into drama and trouble and to act irresponsible..which from time to time drives me crazy for not experimenting while young but eventually makes me happy that some day I will meet the right girl who treats me right and I will do the same for her..it's easy to make excuses for your own stupidity but it takes integrity and intelligence to hold your values when tempted...and it feels good to grow... For a while now I have been a little confused about the popular culture of "Short Game", "One-night-stand", "Friends with Benefits",or whatever you want to call it...the openess of sexuality and the under-rated importance of commitment and loyalty is damaging the integrity of the society one drama tv show at a time. Yeah, you know what I am talking about, you who areaddicted of "Grey's Anatomy", "One Tree Hill", "Gossip Girl" and you who think Barney Stinson is the master of "Living" and Ted Mosby is some pathetic kid who bought into the delusional ideology of "love", "the one", and "happily ever after"...guess what, I kind like to be "Ted", probably for the rest of mylife...finally I figured it out that I am never going to be the guy who sleeps with every living thing he can get and brag about his sexual conquer to hide the fact that he is scared of loving something more than himself and knowing the other one will do the same for him I thought I need to try to be a "Man", learn to drink, chasing skirts and yell at the football game at the top of my lung...but I missed the point: A real gentleman takes self-control and discipline and a caring soul...acting like a total jerk might mislead some stupid girl as confidence and get them into bed with you but these aren't the real fine girls you want in your life...key word---"Stupid", and it makes you as stupid as them..and it hurts knowing the fact that there are less and less girl out there who believe in the "Long game", it is a shame even the great girls have to compromise her values from time to time to satisfy her natural needs and feel sorry afterwards...and more and more guys have learned to pretend to be decent and innocent and sweet just to get laid and unfortunately ruins the reputations for the real good guys...I can't blame myself for apealling to the "Short Game", after all, it delivers results. So, just like Ted, I will do silly things, go out with my wingman Barney, run our short game to pick up some half-decent girls with the hope that one day I will find the girl and fall in love and hold on to her forever..let people say whatever they want to say, at least I know I am doing the right thing and that, my friend, is what really matters in the end. My best regards to all of you and best of luck on finding you love Love Sheng 7月11日 I am 22 now...I need to seize the dayHey everybody, Good to be back here. I just finished watching the movie "21". It got me to think about the reason we go to grad scchool. It is amazing so many young people decided to go to grad school to just avoid the fear of entering the real world, the unknown, the dangerous and exciting world. Yes, there are different rules and you will gradually find yourself changing. Feel like you have changed a little bit once a day, and becoming someone you don't know just a little every day..We all wondered, we all had dreams of going to Harvard, MIT, Yale..but me personally never gave it a further thought other than a big fantacy..I never actually thought about it to become so close for me to grab it, touch it..looking back, despite the toughness of my experience, I have to admit, I am double the man I was two years ago...I have grown, little by little, into a real man. Now I have my confusing moments and I sometimes take one step forward and two steps back but I always wanted to improve myself and fulfill some dream I had years ago... Life is funny, because when you think of it, many of our life-changing decisions are made while we had absolutely no clue of what the real world looks like, we were just taking advices from some teenager who had absolutely no idea how to survive in the real world, how to support yourself, how to make money and how to win respect from others...and I have to agree that our parents played a crucial role in helping us making those difficult decisions. They were probably under tramendous pressure knowing eventually they are accountable for their kids career success or failure...but we grow up, we become mature, and we assume this responsibility as we go, just like our parents did when they were our age..how amazing is that? My boss asked me "What motivates you, really?" the other day..I believe we are all driven by different forces, some by fear, some by desire. We fear that if we don't have perfect GPA we are not going to be accepted into good grad school therefore not only losing faces in front of family and friends but also will inevitably lose our potential career opportunities and eventually lose in life...but really, life hasn't even begin when we are still in University so what's the point to build our every day plan on the fear based on things haven't happened yet? If life is a game, as the game develop, there are numerous variables that changes instantaneously, being determined about some fait or destiney is simply stupid as life never fail to deliver surprises, don't you agree? One of my professor's model is "The problem with the world is that the wise are always full of doubts but the foolish are always convinced about themselves". I have considered both and I have been persuaded by one girl that I can be both..yes, I can be more than a pretty face and a sensitive heart, I can be strong both physically and mentally. I can be determined and focus and maintain a sense of wonder at the same time..I can be systematic and creative, I can be just as good at solving maths questions as performing musical instruments, be a motivational speaker, a mathmatician, a musician, a businessman, a politician, an environmentalist all at the same time, as long as I dare to dream of it, it will happen..Now it won't come easy, the world is full of talented and hard working people. It will inevitably take lots of self control, guidance, and sacrifice. There will be obstacles and setbacks. There will be frustrations and failures. There will be many many lonely and long nights and days. But in the end, I know in my heart that I am meant for something big and good. When I reach my prime age, I want to be known as someone who fully explored his potential and has gained respect from life. I remember my 16th birthday. I made a wish in front the full moon. I prayed that I will become a knowledgable, happy, and respectful person...You hear people saying "In order to see our future, we need to understand our past" all the time, but I just recently began to learn the meaning of these words...It wasn't until recently did I find the treasure of legacy that I inherited from my parents and my grandparents, the bond and connection that are deeply imbeded within my soul and blood that motivates me..to live up to their expectations. They set up great, great examples for me, both in my characters and in my skill set...and I am very glad that they got to hear that I am proud of them But still, I am a hybrid, something fundamentally different from either of them and I have my unique thoughts and my unique trouble living in this time of history..It is the best and worst for all of us, like someone once said. But I have always been an optimistic in life. I believe no matter what, we will stick it through and we will survive and we will flourish just like previous generations. I can barely recall the person first landed at Vancouver International Airport, when I couldn't understand a word from the bus driver, when I first report to school and when I had a hard time express myself clearly to the staffs and profs at UVic..I always knew that I could do better, and I did, it might take longer than an average person and I had several setback but it got me here. Again, it proved that nothing is impossible, no matter how ridiculously insane it might sound. When you power throught that stage, you will come to notice it is just a test in life and you are more powerful than you ever realized. I want to say it once again just to boost my self-confidence: Nothing, absolutely nothing, is as hard as it seems. For a long time, I have been waiting for someone to guide me, to enlighten me, to show me the way and to answer my questions and doubts. I didn't find such person. Instead, I found the collective wisdom of mankind buried in films, musics, books, and daily conversations. The truth is always within me, the strength is always within me..Once again, like the beatles sang "The movement you need, is on your shoulder"...God only helps those who help themselves..I am not a religious person but I respect that, that knowing eventually we need to rely on the inner strength to overcome the challenges posted in life..that is the winner attitude, the "can do" attitude and "Never, never, never give up"... I still have a lot to learn on how to overcome my fear. From time to time, I need to just talk to myself positively and give myself the positive suggestions that I am tougher than the challenges I am facing and one day I will look back and smile at the process. In the meantime, I will take it one day at a time, towards my dream, towards the sound in my head, boldly explore my potential and never yeild to destiney. Well, enough about me, how have you been my friends? With love Sheng 6月20日 爱得太迟----别像我 爱得太迟 词:林夕 唱:古巨基 我过去那死党早晚共对各也扎职以後没法畅聚 而终於相约到但无言共对疏淡如水 日夜做见爸爸刚好想呻 却霎眼看出他多了皱纹 而他的苍老感 是从来未觉太内疚担心 最心痛是 爱得太迟 有些心意 不可等某个日子 盲目地发奋 忙忙忙其实自私 梦中也习惯有压力要我得知 最可怕是 爱需要及时只差一秒 心声都已变历史 忙极亦放肆 见我爱的见双至 要抱要吻怎麼也好 偏要推说要等一下次 我也觉我体质仿似下降 看了症得到是别要太忙 而影碟都扫光但从来未看 因有事赶 日夜做储的钱都应该够 到圣诞正好讲 跟我白头 谁知她开了口 未能挨下去 己恨我很久 错失太易 爱得太迟 我怎想到 她忍不到那日子 盲目地发奋 忙忙忙从来未知 幸福会掠过 再也没法说锺意 爱一个字 也需要及时只差一秒 心声都己变历史 为忙未放肆 见我爱见的双至 要抱要吻要怎麼也好 不要相信一切有下次 相拥我所爱又花几多秒 这几秒 能够做到又有多少 未算少 足够遗憾忘掉 多少抱憾 多少过路人 太懂估计 却不懂爱锡自身 人人在发奋 想起他朝都兴奋 但今晚未过 你要过也很吸引 纵不信运 你不过是人 你想很远爱於咫尺却在等 来日别操心 趁你有能力开心 世界有太多东西发生 不要等到天上苦困 长快当歌 231的各位：青春是一首歌，很荣幸曾经我们一起唱着，幸福要靠自己的双手去争取。前路漫漫，让我们举杯，互祝我们的友情天长地久。 離開 這一刻感覺不會忘記 6月15日 P.S. P.S. Things my parents love and things they had to put away because of my, their dearest son: My mom was once a brilliant vollyball player in university, she plays badminton quite well too My dad played violin and mouth-organ quite well too My dad has a strong talent for language, he can do many dialects, he owns a bookshelf full of foreign languages, like Russian, German, English, Japanese, etc, He is not bad a basketball player too, well, better than me..His ping pong is excellent Both of my parents love traveling, reading and keeping up with the trend of the world God, sometimes, I feel so out-performed by my parents...again, they are AWESOME, and I am sorry I have never said that to them even once... Oh, did I mention that they are both incrediably handsome and romantic? Thank god I inherited all of their best qualities...yeah, that's right, I said it...I think I am handsome and romantic too So did you think of anything you are proud of your parents? Happy father's day in advance dad!! With love Sheng Follow your heart Once upon a time, I was having coffee at a little Italian coffee place across the street from Pacific Transportation Centre in Vancouver. I chatted with the lovely couple from Greece who owns this little coffee place. We talked about my life and their life. In the end, he told me "Just follow your heart son, find your passion, because that's the only way you can succeed at what you do"...and I buried it into the corner of my head and never thought about it...I was too young to understand Maybe it is magic, today I feel totally happy, the melody of Jason Mraz's songs kept swing around in my head, I sang the tune again and again...I went to a park in the middle of Downtown Calgary, called "Olympic Plazza"...the sun was lovely, it was about 1pm in the afternoon, people are enjoying themselves, on the grass, on the bench, there are families with little kids, teenagers having picnics, young couples sun-bathing near the pool in the central, old couples sits on the stairs watching their grandsons and granddaughters playing in the pool...there are fountains pouring water into the pool. I can see the colorful skyscrapers surround me...I lied on the bank and enjoyed every minute...yesterday I was low self-esteem and gutless little kid, today I feel transformed into this confident and fun-loving hip person who is totally lovable and truly love life...mostly, I now understand that in order to be happy, I need to follow my heart and be brave to feel confident about myself, knowing there are some genius sitting inside of me, all I need to do is to let it out, oh my, I don't know exactly what I will do or what is going to happen to me, but I know it will be alright, and I figured it out thanks to some great books, movies, songs and best of all, my friends and family who didn't give up me...who stayed while they wouldn't have to...and thank my parents for giving me the greatest personality in the world that helped me to regain the love for life...some memories of childhood let me know I am loved deeply...even if they are not around...fact, I inherited so many beautiful qualities from my parents, they make my life full of joy and dreams, full of hope and warmness, now I understand what Ronan Keating had been singing about "The look in your eyes lets me know you will catch me wherever I fall"...god, I never thought I could have such profound findings of love, I never thought I could fully comprehend the meaning of true love, but all the time, it is right in front of my eyes, but I was blind...from my arrogance and ignorance...I was turned into a bitter and cynical...I have wasted so much time hating myself, beating myself up, while I could have learned to love Life is a wonderful thing, once you noticed that how much time you have wasted, you become incredibly urged to do something to make up the wasted times, you love, work, and learn double hard, you don't want to waste any time weighing the pros and cons about your action, instead, you just do it...based on the much limited informations, you boldly take actions, make decisions and this, is, when you find the beautiful genius inside of you...for instance, now I am sure that I have a power to influence people, their feelings, emotions, their thoughts, my words, my smile they have a magical power to bring joy to people's heart...and I will cherish it and make the best of it...I love music, melody and lyrics, I love reading, I love to express myself and share my findings to the world, I might not end up like Morgan to be a university professor, and I think it is awesome for someone to achieve that but when I accept that this is not the path for me, oh my, so much relief. I have my own destiney for me to fullfill, god has a plan for every one of us...boldly explore all the possibilities and keep my options open, I might not end up like some Wall Street Brokers who earn millions of bonus each year or develp some drug that is going to cure cancer but I will find the thing that will make me shine, maybe not as bright as the sun but even just a little, make it worthwhile, and live a life that's worth living for again For my dearest friends, thanks for all of your support, with my heart and soul...like the beatles said " I get by with a little help from my friend, I get hight with a little help from my friend, I gonna try with a little help with my friend"...Thank you all so much........ With love Sheng 6月14日 Lucky I highly recommend everyone to listen to two of Jason Mraz's songs: I'm yours & Lucky The lyrics and melody is just so pure and beautiful, makes you wonder for great love and set your mind free Makes me think of the classic music, once upon a time, they were pop music too, same as William Shakespeare's novels...I can't help but wonder, isn't the secret of genius just simply doing what they love and let all the criticis and judgement be Spring is in the air, sometimes, I can't help but to sing on my way home, when everything is under the beautiful sunshine and the little breeze wispering through the trees, when girls put on their finest dresses...I can feel the love and the joy of life in the air I am sure there are a lot for me to learn to love...but spring is a good start, I will stop worrying and giving my best shot at it...life is unpredictable, so I will roll with it, appreciate where I went and where I am, what I had and have, figure out the past, and live at the moment It's kind of a growing up, isn't it? I have a sneaky feeling, that my luck, is about to change With love Sheng 6月10日 I LOVE YOU Now talk about love. It's brilliant...words can't describe it...beautiful beyond imagination Please, while you still can, tell people you love how much you love them while you still can. And people....so promising, so bright, so fragile There is no another day...really...don't hold back...tell people while you still can, spread the love while you are alive Happiness takes balls, I can't let fear deprive me all the joy in the world...I will become the master of my feelings Some sentences take time for me to fully comprehend and when I do, oh boy, what wonderful surprise and joy it brings!! From now on, I will love, hate, work to my fullest, believe in the goodness of man kind and believe in miracles, love myself, my family, my friend with my whole heart and soul, never let a day pass me by I will cherish all the good with all the bad, embrace success as well as failure, because life is a journey made by actions, the more actions you take, the more progress you make I will be brave to love, to take responsibility and to keep my promises. I will have the greatest life I will face death as one of my best friends not my enermy, embrace aging and god's actions, knowing that it is the journey that matters, not the destiney I will study, learn, and get to know myself better, improve myself just a little each day, make a plan, set a goal but while fighting for it, look around and drink it in I will be my personal best, live well, and die well, be a good man, good friend, good son and good husband while I still can It's a promise 5月25日 爱情，兄弟，人生-----东邪西毒（终极版） 这个周末为了赶递交维多利亚大学的官方成绩单飞回了维多利亚，去温哥华赶周六快递，周日又刚刚飞回卡尔加里。虽然事情比较匆忙，当中也出了不少惊险的状况，总的来说是破财免灾了。回家以后很累,因为坐飞机,坐游轮,巴士等等搞得很疲惫,可能自己本身的身体素质也下降了吧。整个过程当中给我的最大的印象就是我没有广交朋友，令到可以为了我真正救急的朋友少得可怜。所以觉得自己做人很失败，在关键的时候可以让我百分百放心把重要的事情交附的朋友也很少。当我对着手机的电话簿翻阅的时候，那种突然之间觉得有了什么事情没有可以依靠的朋友的失落很真实，而且事实证明没有朋友会让我付出时间和金钱上的代价。 回家以后洗澡，然后打开电脑看了东邪西毒，觉得这次看比以前回味的东西更多，所以想和大家分享一下。其实我的记性一直都很好，所以直到最后马友友的小提琴背景响起的时候印象中这个终极版和以前看的没有什么大的分别，不过导演最后的背景的确让整个电影的境界更加完美。我知道好多人都说王嘉卫是文化流氓，不过汇集了梁朝伟，张学友，张国荣，刘嘉玲，张曼玉等等一班明星的应该也不是什么垃圾之作了。 当中的好多台词，现在想想觉得只有经历过人生起起伏伏，才会回味得出，只有上了年纪，或许，像张国荣开头所说等到你在世界上过了四十年以后才会开始懂得人世间的恩怨情仇。或许，等到二十年以后再看，我会感觉更有味道，又或者，我的人生会比电影更曲折，也更耐人寻味。 印象比较深的几句台词是： 欧阳锋：醉生梦死，其实只不过是她跟我开的一个玩笑，其实，你越是想知道自己有没有忘记，反而记得越是清楚。 欧阳锋的嫂子对黄药师：其实，你们这么好的朋友，你为什么不对他说我在这里？ 黄药师：因为我答应过你，所以一直没说。 欧阳锋的嫂子（苦笑）：你真是老实。 欧阳锋：可能因为孤儿的缘故，我从小就很懂得怎么保护自己，因为我知道，要防止别人拒绝你，最好的方法，就是你先拒绝别人。 欧阳锋：以前我年轻的时候，见到一座山，就会想知道山的后面是什么。不过可能等你走过去，才发现那里也没有什么特别，这里反而也挺好的。 鸡蛋女问盲剑客：你结婚了没？ 盲剑客：为什么这么问？ 鸡蛋女：因为我觉得你一定很爱你的老婆 盲剑客：可以这么说。 鸡蛋女：那你为什么不陪在她的身边呢？ 盲剑客：沉默 欧阳锋：为了一个鸡蛋，失掉一个手指，值得么？ 洪七：不值得，但是我觉得痛快，这才是我。 欧阳锋：沉默 洪七：本来我不会有事的，但是我的刀，没有以前那么快了。以前我快，是因为我直接，觉得对就去做。现在我发现和你呆久了，变得和你一样，失去了自己。她来求我的时候，我拒绝了她。事后，我对自己好失望。我不肯帮她，就是因为我知道你一定不会为了一个鸡蛋去冒险，我不想变成和你一样的人，失去了自己。 欧阳锋看着洪七和老婆朝南远去：他们走的时候，我的心很妒嫉。曾经我也有这样的机会，但是不知为什么，我放弃了。 欧阳锋：我听人说，当我们没有办法拥有的时候，我们唯一可以做的，就是让自己不要忘记。 欧阳锋对洪七：回乡下，你现在这个样子，如果回去，那当初何必出来？ 欧阳锋：那天晚上睡觉的时候，我觉得有人摸我。我知道在她心里只把我当是另外一个人，其实，我又何尝不是呢？ 慕容嫣：如果我有天忍不住问你你最爱的女人是谁，你一定要骗我说你最爱的人是我，就算心里再怎么觉得不是，也一定要骗我。 慕容嫣问被当成黄药师的欧阳锋：你这一生，最爱的女人是谁？ 欧阳锋：不就是你咯 欧阳锋：这句话，以前也有一个女人问过我，不过我没有回答。换作黄药师的身份，觉得其实，这几个字，也并不是那么难说出口。 欧阳锋的嫂子：明明心里想要，嘴上却又不说。他就是太自信了，以为我一定会选他，没想到我却嫁给了他大哥。为什么等到失去了才要挽回，那我就偏不让他得到。 黄药师：如果爱情当中可以分输赢的话，我不知道他们谁输谁赢，不过我知道，我从一开始就输了。 觉得王嘉卫还是那么黑色，虽然剧情和他要讲的江湖都是昏昏黑黑的，配色和取景又有一种浪漫的孤独美。 回去了维多利亚，走在晚上十点的yates & douglas st上，看熙熙攘攘的满街的人，坐在公交车上，看喝得醉醺醺的少男少女们和热情的司机，觉得生活最美不过如此了。走在温哥华的街上，在随便一个街角的公园躺下看烈日，或者打一个盹，看街上漂亮的男孩女孩和急匆匆走路的生意人，在韩国餐厅吃很便宜又地道的韩国菜，在UBC看晚霞下海边的山峦起伏，觉得离开以后再回来才看清楚BC省的美。才明白为什么全国的人民来到这里就不愿走了，It's love at first sight.我知道对我来说已经不是一见钟情，不过二见钟情也很不错。 所以觉得还是西人单纯，如果给我踩上中国的土地，不知是惊多过喜，还是喜多过惊。 5月20日 Taken （飓风拯救）--- A must see kick ass movie from Liam Neeson Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson) >>>>>>>>>>>Jason Bourne>>>>>>>>James Bond Hands down!!!! Oh Man, best action movie I have ever seen!! And trust me, I have seen tons of great action movies!! Easiest and fastest 95 minutes ever spent 5月18日 Music is gift from god, father's day and others Hi everybody, My laptop is dying on me, and I am thinking using this long weekend in Canada (It is Victoria day next Monday) to buy a new one, my battery is dying and my charger is not working, my usb ports are dead now and I think my Office is full of virus...so anyways, my battery only has ...22 minutes, let's talk First off, I want to say that music is really the gift of god, ever since I bought a radio, I feel very touched by people passionately singing about the life, here is a great song I heard just now from the radio and I want to share it with all of you...I particularly like the lyrics and I think it is important now to give up on Faith, and never fail to realize how small you are in the universe. Father's day, I bought a book for my father that I am about to send out soon, hope it arrives before father's day, and I want to say that as I go through this book, I feel very touched by the way fathers express their love, "parent's joy is a secret, so is their griefs and fears"...as I grow older, I began to realize so many things I do the same way my father would have done, "Our fathers teach us the most at odd moments, that's when they don't intend to teach"..."Being a father is the most mascuine thing a man can do", " When a child is born, a father is born"...it is a job that never stops and never rests...I know my father is not perfect, in deed, it's the imperfection that makes him different and special, and I feel sorry that I more often than not took his love for granted.. I began to believe, that our parents, are the angels for us, and in turn, it is our job to be good kids that they want us to be. I hope you dance--Lee Ann WomackI hope you never lose your sense of wonder, You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger, May you never take one single breath for granted, GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed, I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean, Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens, Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. I hope you dance....I hope you dance. I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance, Never settle for the path of least resistance Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin', Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin', Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter, When you come close to sellin' out reconsider, Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance, And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. I hope you dance....I hope you dance. I hope you dance....I hope you dance. I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean, Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens, Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. Dance....I hope you dance. I hope you dance....I hope you dance. I hope you dance....I hope you dance.. (Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone |
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